I fully believe that friendship is one the greatest gifts God has blessed us with here on earth! So many of us keep people at arm’s length due to fear. Fear of being hurt, fear of being judged, or that someone won’t like the “Real” us. The truth is that everyone is looking for someone who will tell the “Truth” about themselves, about their struggles and about their lives so that they can feel safe to share theirs. One thing I’ve realized over the years and as the extreme extrovert that I am, is that it’s easy to make surface friends but, to have a true connection with another individual is a rare gift. It is hard to take that leap of faith and trust the “realness”of your life with another person but, beauty blooms from that leap. Walking with a friend through the ups and the downs is where true connection comes from. That is how we know how to pray for each other, how to help and be a blessing to one other. People die in America from loneliness and many people have only ever had superficial relationships. However, the truth is the choice is completely in your hands how lonely or how connected you want to feel as you go through this life. There are some things I’ve learned have helped me with this process:
When someone who you want to have a deeper friendship and connection with asks you “How are you today?” or “How is your day going?” ANSWER TRUTHFULLY. I am tempted so many times to just say “Fine” or “Good” even when it’s been a really hard day and I do need someone to talk to, because of fear. However, I find that most times when I’m honest about my struggles, it opens a door for the other person to share and be honest as well and true connection happens. God did not create us to live our lives alone, in seclusion.
Don’t be that person that just waits for everyone to always ask you how you feel and how your day was. Ask questions to those that you want to connect with, and ask probing questions that will stimulate a conversation beyond the surface. Again, I can’t stress enough that when you share, you will be amazed how other people will open up as well.
Invite Them Over
As simple as that sounds, if you ask around many people never invite others over but, always wait to be invited somewhere. Take the initiative to make someone feel loved, included and that you care about getting to know them better. Many times this helps others as well as ourselves put walls down in a more comfortable setting.
As simple as these steps seem they are a challenge for so many, including myself. The older we get we have more hurtful experiences, more times we wished we hadn’t trusted someone or let them in, and more reasons to put walls up but, if we live like that we are missing out on one of the greatest gifts God has given us on this earth. There is nothing like having girlfriends that you can be real with & husbands are not meant to take the place of our “girlfriends”, so take that jump to build a new friendship or a deeper friendship with someone you already know! Walk with each other, pray for each other, carry each others burdens as we were created to do and don’t let fear reign because, you could be missing out on the greatest friendship you would ever have!! Be Brave!!
**2 Timothy 1:7 “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”